Race Recap: State #2: Wisconsin

Race: Madison Marathon
Date: November 10, 2013
Result: DNF

Going into this race, I wanted to correct the things that gave me problems a month before in the Chicago Marathon – chafed inner thighs, black big toenails, and calf cramps.  This time I was a regular boy scout – I brought up to Madison body glide, better fitting shoes, and a fun run mentality to keep myself from pushing it too hard.  And as luck would have it I also brought a stomach virus up there to make all the other potential problems absolutely trifling.

The day before the race the virus hit me and I was curled up in bed all morning on Saturday.    When we headed up there around 2 in the afternoon my stomach was cramping up in regular intervals, around every half hour or so and I was making note of the time as if they were pregnant lady contractions.  I was hoping the spacing would get further and further apart and they did, eventually hitting me every hour or so. 

Packet pickup was a breeze, with only about 1800 bibs in the full marathon, and the expo was about the size of a basketball court.  We did a lap around the room and got my shirt, a really nice long sleeve maroon tech shirt that reminded me of my high school colors.  We didn’t stick around long though and met with my friend Courtney who was running the half and her husband David for a pasta dinner at Paisan’s next door, which had a great view of Lake Monoa.  We talked about how work was going and next year’s Ragnar and I was feeling pretty good and had a few Capital Brewery Amber Ales and a nice bowl of mushroom fettucine alfredo.

But after checking in at the hotel my stomach wasn’t too happy with the dinner, my only meal of the day, and starting at around 9 or 10 my internal dike broke and the whatever Dutch boy that was holding up the crack drowned.  With each trip to the bathroom I could feel my energy sap out from me and I was pretty sure I was creating matter and breaking some laws of the universe.  Each sip of Gatorade I took to replace the fluids I was losing was followed by what felt like a liter of torrential output, expelled from both directions.  I couldn’t sleep and I kept waking up to the feeling like death had grabbed my GI tract and was wringing it like a wet rag to get every drop of fluid out of it.  This happened like clockwork on an hourly basis – 1am, 2am, 3am, until I finally stayed up at 4am, each time hoping it was the last of the fluid I had in me, but wasn’t.  At this point I figured it would take a miracle to make it to the start line, and I joked with Mae, “You know how Jesus turned water into wine?  I’m turning food into water.”  We checked out of there without taking advantage of the free breakfast and drove to the start line. 

The intimacy of a smaller race like this was great because Mae could be there right at the start line and security was nothing like Chicago’s, which understandably had tons of security everywhere.  There were no corrals, just a chute about 70 yards deep where there were signs for 6:00, 7:00, 8:00 all the way to 12:00 minutes separated every 10 yards.  I snapped a pic in front of the Capitol building, hugged Mae and snaked my way to the 11:00 area a few minutes before start time and waited for the horn.  

I promised Mae I wouldn’t push it at all since this was just a fun run and a run to get Wisconsin off the list, so I told her to expect 10 minute miles.  But the energy and carbs that I had tried to load up on for the race had unloaded throughout the night and a 10 minute mile felt more like 8.  I was drained.

The first mile was pretty much all downhill (in every sense of the word) as we headed toward the Arboretum, and the cramping I hoped – prayed – would be gone came back and punched me in the gut a half mile in.  I began to panic because each step jostled my inner workings.  I knocked out the first mile in about 9:45 and saw my oasis up ahead - the first set of porta potties, a whopping 3 of them after mile 1.  There were 6 people in line in front of me and I kept my watch going and saw my pace for mile 2 go up, up and up.  It took about 5 minutes before I finally gained entry to one of the johns.  The runners waiting for their turn after me probably thought there was a faucet in there based on the sounds I was making. 

I busted out of there and took off hoping I would now be ok for at least the time being, and grabbed a cup of water from one of the awesome volunteers at mile 1.  I was already dehydrated and hoped the drinking wouldn’t bring more cramps but of course it came back and I felt the urge to go again not even 100 yards from the very first aid station. 

Miles 2 through 5 took us runners directly away from the start line and around Lake Wingra so there was no going back.  I was already regretting my decision but there wasn’t much I could do at this point but just run.  So I tightened the old sphincter, put my head down and plowed forward.  I couldn’t shake the infamous image on the net of that poor runner who had shit himself in the middle of a race and the look of the horrified spectators; that was the main reason to not try to do this.  I DID NOT WANT TO BE THAT GUY.  At least the guy in the picture was wearing shorts so it had a place to go; wearing thermal compression tights, I pictured it just coming out and evenly coating my lower half like some sort of scat cast as my worst nightmare was playing out in my head.  

What also didn’t help things were all the well-meaning folks sporadically dotted throughout the course wearing Green Bay Packers gear cheering me on - it just felt a tad icky as a Bears fan.  There was a sign saying that Aaron Rodgers thought I was a champion.  In my head I was thinking, I don't care what he thinks of me.  There was a juggler and all I could think was, fuck off, juggler.  I mean, seriously – who hates on jugglers?  But I wasn’t having any of his nonsense.  I'm slowly dying here, and you're going to juggle?  Externally though I kept my head down and politely thanked them as I trudged past them. 

When I saw Mae at the 7.5 mile mark, I told her I didn’t have the drive to keep running anymore.  But since we were 3 miles away from where we parked, I might as well stay on the course and re-evaluate somewhere between miles 10 and 11 where I’d see her again and kept going.  I had no idea there was about 80 feet of climbing up Observatory Drive at mile 9.    

At the bottom of that hill was the mile 10 aid station and of course I went straight to one of the porta potties for the third time.  While on the throne I looked at my watch.  Wow, I’m a few minutes shy of two hours.  In my first two marathons I have already crossed the halfway mark at this time.  I’ve lost at least 10 minutes to the porta potty visits and it was a struggle to run 11 minute miles.  I was so discouraged and tired I just started walking to help with the discomfort.  Then I felt a tap on my shoulder and I look and see it’s the 5:00 hour pacer that tapped me and he and his band of merry followers slowly passed me like slightly faster slugs trudging past a slower slug suffering from a severe bout of diarrhea.  He probably said something mystical and life changing that would have inspired me to run another 16 miles but with my headphones on I didn’t hear him.  He, his followers and what little morale I had left slowly but surely distanced themselves from me into the horizon.   

When I finally saw Mae again at the 10.5 mile mark, any will I had left in me to go on had slipped away with the 5 hour pace group.  I knew I wouldn’t see her again until mile 19 and that was unfathomable.  I still had almost a 5k to run just to get to the halfway point.  I pulled up on the sidewalk, pressed the Stop button on my Garmin and it broke my heart to see “Timer Stopped” on the display.  I buried my head in her chest and started sobbing.  “I’m sorry” was all I could say to her as we walked off the course and towards the car while I unpinned my bib.

I’ve read a few advice columns about whether you should run while sick, and am now a strict disciple of the neck rule.  If you’re sick from the neck up, go ahead and run.  From the neck down, don’t do it.  Had I listened to this advice and/or remembered anything from Physiology 101 I should have realized the stomach is below the neck, and not to have even tried to run.  But hell, we were already there anyway so I gave it a shot.  But back on the list Wisconsin goes along with the 48 other states.  It’s a beautiful course and maybe next time I’ll get a chance to enjoy it more.   

Registration: $105 + $7.35 Service Fee
Flight: N/A
Hotel: AmericInn Madison West $97

Race recap: State #1: Illinois (redux)

Race: Chicago Marathon
Date: October 13, 2013
Result: 4:27:21

Charity: American Diabetes Association
Amount Raised: $1100

American Diabetes Association runners Earl and Kory

My home state.  This is my second marathon and was determined to run it again since I left last year's race with a bad taste in my mouth.  Plus I had already registered before even thinking about going 50 for 50.

I arrived at the gate and had split a cab with two other ADA runners I had met at John Barleycorn, ADA's race day HQ, earlier in the morning.  Earl had run one previous Chicago marathon in about the same amount of time I did, and this was Kory's first go at it, an out-of-towner from Rhode Island.  

It was such a beautiful day I didn't need the garbage bag I brought with me and tossed it in the trash.  With the elites already at the 5k mark I was 15 minutes from departure and the nervous energy started to fill the corral.  I decided to finish the bottle of water I brought with me and get my Gu on.

I had just been given a hand-me-down smartphone so I decided to use that to play my music - and have a way to get in touch with Mae after the race - but I was worried since I sweat like a pig it was going to get soaking wet in my gel belt. So bringing a ziplock bag was one of a couple things I forgot to do today.  My playlist was 60 songs deep and about 4 hours long.  It was a stretch to get done before the playlist ended, and realistically my goal was 4:15.  But you tend to get overly optimistic when you put in as much work as you do when training for these things.  

As I crossed the start line right near the front of Wave 2 in my corral I started my watch and headed out for my run. I wanted to keep a 9:20 pace but my Garmin wasn't telling me my pace.  I was freaking out because it wasn't also telling me my distance.  This can't be happening!  Stupid refurb Woot watch!  I guess I have to run by feel.  The problem is I had so much adrenaline that what I felt was 9:20 actually turned out to be 8:55 the first 15k.  That pretty much doomed me for the second half.    

I told Mae that I would run down the left side of the street for the most part, mainly because I like to give high fives to all the kids.  It's an awesome feeling for a regular joe to be treated like a pro athlete, and it makes you forget about the distance in front of you for a short time.  I also punched a sign that said "Punch here for turbo" which gave me a little speed burst.  But for some reason at mile 3 where the ADA cheering section was, I went to the right to look for her.  Of course, she was on the left side of the street so I didn't see her.  

Coming back south down Broadway and eventually Clark towards mile 9 I started looking for the Illini flag that my friends Mike & Wanda had texted me to look for the night before.  Sure enough there it was right on Wrightwood and I spotted Wanda first. Then there was Mike and I waved and hopped maniacally as they spotted me.  

One of the nuttier things I saw was this Japanese guy with a huge professional camera running alongside me. He would race up ahead at around 9 mph, stop and take pics of everyone while I caught up and pass him, then he'd race past me again with his camera in one hand only to stop and take more pictures.  I'm sure I got on his memory card a bunch of times.  And he did it without any camera straps or anything.  Crazy.

Most of the streets are sloped and you really feel it if you run alongside the edge for too long so I started spending more time on the crown of the roads right where the dividing paint is at.  But it may have been too late because just after the halfway mark my left calf stiffened up on me and even though I was eating the Clif Bloks like I had in training and drinking at every single aid station they didn't keep away the cramps like last year.  A quick pull over to the side to stretch at the curb kind of helped, and I was still able to continue running, although at a much slower pace. I kept flashing back to last year, where I saw myself on the sidewalk trying to stretch to no avail and walking in disappointment, and felt so much better and fit this year.

Coming up on mile 21 I looked at my stupid watch and saw that it was 11:22 in the morning - I told my cousin Bern on Facebook who was working the aid station coming up that I would see her at around 11:24, and with a little speedup I was able to get there right when I said I would.  Mae was there too, and as she ran up to me I gave her a big and all-too-brief hug, then saw my cousin right after and gave her a hug too. Then another cousin Jason who was also working the aid station got a quick shoulder pat and off I went with a new-found spring in my step and  kept me strong through Chinatown.  

After Chinatown is such a grind though because you head back south away from the finish line all the way to 33rd street before heading back over the Dan Ryan and back up Michigan Avenue.  I remember that being the worst stretch of the race last year and I was forced to walk all of it.  This year it was a slow trot, but I was still running.  

At the "1 mile to go" sign and my playlist already repeating itself I yelled to myself "Let's go, Mario!  Come on!" loud enough to turn a few heads in confusion, and I just took off as hard as I could.  That lasted about 10 yards as my calves said, "I don't think so, jerk."  And they just locked up on me.  So I went back to my 5 mph trot I've been running steady with the last 3 miles or so.   

Seeing the finish line and crossing it was as good a feeling as I remember it, and with the enhanced security the spectators are fenced off blocks away from the finishing chute.  It took a while to meet up again with Mae, but the under-attended pizza party back at John Barleycorn with her and celebrating with ADA donors and friends Mike and Szymon made the day great.  

An injury self-assessment revealed nothing major - chafed inner thighs (forgot to put on body glide, the other thing I forgot), ouchy big toes, a sore left achilles and a knot in my right calf.  Other than that I was walking around okay on Monday and got my medal engraved at Fleet Feet for posterity and should be ready to start training tomorrow for next month's race in Madison.

Race Registration: $0
Flight: N/A
Hotel: N/A

I guess this is really happening - Wisconsin here I come!

So I started doing some math - with 14 years to get this thing done and 49 more states to do, I've got to run 3 and a half marathons a year.  I really should have started this in my 20's, but I guess I didn't really think about my health back then as much.  Oh well.  If I plan to do 2 in the fall and 2 in the spring every year then I'll get this done with room to skip a few here and there.  But I better get cracking now!

Since I've already registered for the Chicago Marathon and am near the end of this training cycle, I figured why not add another one this year to see what it feels like to run multiple ones close to each other?  Travelling far is out of the question since this was a last minute idea, so it has to be a neighboring state.  I checked out marathonguide.com to see what was upcoming and there was Dawn of the Dunes in Gary Indiana, but that was on the 27th, just two weeks after the Chicago one.  Not sure I could handle that...

Indianapolis has one too in November, on 11/02, but that's also the date of the Hot Chocolate 5k/15k which Mae wants to run.  Don't want to step on her running plans either.  So that left Madison's Marathon on the 10th of November, which gives me a month to recover/taper, and with fellow Ragnarian and ex-coworker Courtney running the half, I might have a running buddy!  Madison it is!

But my heart sank a bit last week as I found out that it was sold out just weeks before.  But there was a waitlist that I could sign up for, so on the list my name went.  But yesterday I got an email saying they had a spot open up for me.  So I guess there's no going back now, since I just dropped $105 and I'm now officially invested monetarily towards achieving this crazy dream.  I still have to run a 20 miler this weekend and apparently Hal Higdon's multiple marathon training plan suggests I put in another long run right after the Chicago Marathon.

This could get ugly.